Solving Conflicts
Conflict Resolution
Part One


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Slide Show Presentation
Genuine vs Counterfeit Character Strengths is a Paradigm Change that Challenges Everything You Thought You Knew About Character -- Which One's Do You Have?

Automated Relationship
& Character Coaching

Chapter 1
Do You Want To Fight?

Chapter 2
Diamonds ...or Rocks?

Chapter 3
A Little Out Of Balance
(Character Symmetry)

Chapter 4

Chapter 5
Wet Sand Bricks
& Blindfolds
(What Is character?)

Chapter 6
The World's Greatest Battle!
(Part One)

Chapter 7
The World's Greatest Battle!
(Part Two)

Chapter 8
Solving Conflicts 101 The ABC's

Chapter 9
Solving Conflicts 102 The Basics
(A mini-course)

Chapter 10
Before You
Accuse Me!

Chapter 11
Titanic Failure
(It Could Never Happen To Me!)

Part One



Read Solving Conflicts in PDF: Click Here
Read John Miller's Column at Click Here

Chapter Four
What are Counterfeit Character Qualities?
What Goes Around Comes Around!

Did you know that counterfeiting money is one of the oldest crimes in history? That is a fact according to the United States Secret Service. Truthfully, I could not tell you whether I have ever passed counterfeit money or not. I have no idea how to spot counterfeit money from genuine money. I have never had that type of training.

The United States had a big problem in the 19th century. There were over 1600 banks. Each bank designed and printed its own money. At that time, there were 7000 types of genuine money. The bad news was that there were also 4000 types of counterfeit money. People could no longer tell the real money from the fake money. Who could possibly keep track of all those different types of money?

During the Civil War, one third of all money was not genuine money. It was counterfeit. In order to stop this, in 1863, the United States changed over to just one type of money. However, having just one type of money did not stop the counterfeiting. By 1865, the Secret Service was founded to crack down on the counterfeiters.

The Secret Service tells us how to spot counterfeit money. On their web site, they show pictures of the real money. They show the genuine money, and then they show the counterfeit. In order to spot the counterfeit money, you first have to know what genuine money looks like. The better you know what genuine money looks like; the better you can see the differences between the two types.

No one would be very happy to find out they had been given counterfeit money. Imagine if you went to the bank to take out some of your money. Then you found out later they had given you counterfeit money. Conflict would be the result. We trust that when we accept cash from someone it is genuine.

Counterfeit money is to genuine money...
...What counterfeit traits are to genuine traits.

Will you imagine for a moment that the genuine character traits are just like genuine money? Imagine that you can spend character traits just as you spend money. When you spend your genuine character traits, you are spending the real thing. As you pay your way with your genuine traits, people will grow to trust you that you only spend genuine traits. They will feel confident that you would never pay them with a counterfeit character trait. Genuine traits adhere to the rule of not causing harm, injury, or insult to others or yourself.

Spending counterfeit money will get you into trouble. It will also cause conflict for others. The people you spend it on will feel cheated. Spending counterfeit traits also will get you into trouble. It will also cause conflict. The people that you spend your counterfeit traits on will feel cheated.

In fact, just like with counterfeit money, the more and more you spend counterfeit traits, the greater will be your risk. The more you spend, the more you will get into trouble and cause conflict for yourself and other people.

The best way to spot a counterfeit trait is to become familiar with the genuine trait. The more you know about the genuine traits, the better you will become at spotting the counterfeit traits. The more you know about the genuine traits, the easier it will become to use them.

Once you learn to spot which of the counterfeit traits you have been spending, it will be easier for you to stop spending them. The less you spend counterfeit traits, the less you will have conflict in your life.

Solving Conflicts addresses 42 genuine character traits.

Right now, you already have all 42 of them in your bank. You can call that your character savings account. They are deposited there on the day of your birth. For your whole life, you have been taking out withdrawals from your character bank. Each day of your life, when you wake up in the morning, you have some of these traits with you to spend. You probably have become very good at spending some of them wisely.

However, you may have left some of the genuine traits in your character savings account. You may have never made a withdrawal of them, and you may have never learned to use them. It is like having money in the bank, but never spending it. At any time, you could withdraw your genuine character traits to spend. It would be a benefit to you and to others. You are always just one choice away from doing the right thing.

Which character traits have you been spending?
Which ones have you left in the bank?

Now, there is a bit of a problem. The bad news is that there are large amounts of counterfeit character traits floating around. Some of it has ended up in your character savings account. That is bad enough. However, some of it may have ended up in your wallet to spend every day. How it got there is less important than the simple fact that it is there right now.

Some people have been spending counterfeit traits their whole life. It is as though they have never known the genuine traits. For them it is as common as the counterfeit money was during the Civil War ...or worse! They have seen so many counterfeit traits they no longer even know what the genuine traits are like. When others pay them only in counterfeit traits, they may not have a clue that they are not getting the genuine.

Part 2 of Solving Conflicts will...
  • ... help you to identify your genuine character traits. It will help you to see which you have been spending and which you have left in your character savings account.
  • ...will also help you to identify which counterfeit traits you have been using. Each genuine trait has its own set of counterfeit traits. (There is a good chance you have been spending a counterfeit trait that you never knew had a genuine counterpart.)
  • ...will also help you to learn how to exchange the counterfeit trait into the genuine. That is very good news.

One very important thing to consider:

The Secret Service tells us what to do if we are ever passed counterfeit money. The first thing on the list is do not return it to the passer. That is great advice!

Consider this as well. If you are ever passed a counterfeit character trait by someone, do not pass it back to the passer either! That is how you can avoid becoming part of the conflict. If a friend or foe passes you a counterfeit trait, pass them back a genuine trait instead.

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Solving Conflicts
Conflict Resolution
Part Two

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Solving Conflicts: Character Education: Conflict Defined

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