Chapter Eleven
Titanic Failure - Oops! or Big OOPS!
(It Could Never Happen to Me!)

Perhaps more than any other disaster in modern history, the sinking of the RMS Titanic has sparked more sorrow and shock; more debate and speculation; more books and movies; and more metaphorical lessons to learn than has any other tragedy.

Shortly after that great tragedy, the designer of the Titanic said, "Everything that could reasonably be thought of was done ... in order to minimize the risk of ordinary accident."

Have you ever felt like that? Perhaps you got up in the morning feeling confident and prepared. In your best judgment, you believed that you had done everything you could reasonably think of to do in order to minimize the risk of ordinary accident. Your ship was sailing along confidently. All the passengers were well cared for and comfortable.

Then unexpectedly, out of nowhere, opposition arose ...an adversary was in your midst. You never practiced a situation like that in a drill. Then before you could blink your eyes, you realized that you had a gapping hole in your starboard side, water was gushing in, your ship was sinking, passengers were fleeing into the darkness of night in their lifeboats and you were all alone in your Captain's Chamber sinking with your ship.

Perhaps you have never personally had a day like that, but I would venture to guess with a fair degree of certainty that at least you know somebody who has.

While on the one hand, days like that can certainly reveal our character, you understand ...the stuff we are made of; on the other hand, our character may well determine the likelihood of having days like that.

Are you confident that you currently have whatever it takes to avoid disaster? Captain Edward Smith of the Titanic apparently felt that way. That fateful day started out like any other day. Upon his expected arrival in New York , Captain Smith would retire from a long and uneventful career.

Before that fateful day happened, Captain Smith said, "When anyone asks me how I can best describe my experience in nearly forty years at sea, I merely say, 'uneventful.' Of course, there have been winter gales, and storms and fog and the like. But in all my experience, I have never been in any accident ... or any sort worth speaking about. I have seen but one vessel in distress in all my years at sea. I never saw a wreck and never have been wrecked nor was I ever in any predicament that threatened to end in disaster of any sort."

Is it possible ...dare we even think it ...that if Captain Smith had been using Solving Conflicts to work on his own character issues that the entire Titanic disaster could have been avoided?

On that fateful night, Captain Smith was merely one good choice away from making a correct decision that would have relegated his ship, his crew, and his passengers a place in history that would have been uneventful and unknown. He was but one good choice away from delivering his passengers to saftey and a history far different than the one we watch at the movies. Have you ever been just one good choice away from a day that would have been uneventful, smooth-sailing, and trouble-free?

One thing that Captain Smith apparently lacked was the character quality of alertness. He had been warned seven times that very day of icebergs ...including a direct warning just 49 minutes earlier from the ship Californian just 19 miles away telling him that they were stopped and surrounded by ice. A man who was in possession of the character quality of alertness would have readily heeded those warnings and either stopped or changed course to avert potential disaster.

In advance of that day, if Captain Smith had learned that he lacked in the quality of alertness, he might have seen a radically better outcome that historical day. Focusing on alertness might have been enough to inspire him with a greater sense of caution that fateful night.

Simply put, are you truly doing all you can to avert disaster in your own life by focusing on the matters of your own character growth?

Are you learning, little by little, to be helpful to the character growth of those people who are closest to you?

Consider these statistics. Do they seem altogether too familiar? Perhaps you have seen this in your own family history. The chances are good that you have seen it ...maybe up close and personal.

Are you ready to say,
"The buck stops here?"

Is it time for you to begin making some changes for yourself by making better choices? If not now, when?

If you have not been to a really scary movie lately, and if you are really in the mood to be shocked beyond belief, do an internet search on divorce statistics or men who pay child support or fatherless homes ...you get the picture! Consider yourself warned. It is not a pretty sight. It's enough to make you cry!

Is sorrow, divorce, broken relationships our destiny in life? Do we have any better choices to make?  We must find better choices to make!  The alternative is too grim to say the least.

The following statistics are some of the least frightening statistics that we could find. Grab a box of tissues. Get a bowl of chocolate ice-cream -- and cry! Because statistically speaking, this has either already happened to your grand-parents, your parents, you, your children, or it's going to happen to you or your children if you don't intentionally do something to prevent it from happening.

Divorce Magazine reported these statistics:

• In 1997, there were nearly 1.7 million divorces.
  
  
• In 1998, there were 19.4 million divorced adults.
  
  
• A marriage lasts 7.2 years on average before divorce occurs.
  
  
• In 1995, 43% of all marriages will result in divorce within the first 15 years.
  
  
• In 1997, 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
  
  
• 60 percent of all remarriages end in divorce.
  
  
• 50% of all women cohabit before they turn age 30.
  
  
• 70% of the couples that cohabit longer than five years eventually get married.
  
  
• Since 1997, 2.5 million people get a divorce annually.
  
  
• In 1996, children of divorce were 50% more likely than their counterparts from intact families to divorce.
  
  
• 4.1 million single mothers never married.
  
  
• In 1997, 32% of all babies born were to unmarried women.
  
  
• Since 1997, 1 million children became the victims of divorce annually.
  
  
• In 1998, 27% of family households with children had only one parent.
  
  
• In 1998, 20 million children were living with only one parent.
  
  
• In 1998, 84% of children living in single-parent homes were living with their mother.
  
  
• Fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of homeless/runaway children, 85% of children with behavior problems, 71% of high school dropouts, 85% of youths in prison, and well over 50% of teen mothers.
  
  
• In 1997, 80% of the divorces were due to irreconcilable differences.

On average, the length of divorce proceedings takes 1 year.

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